exhausted. gosh, im so glad tmrw's friday and 1 project, over and done with.  But, i feel sad today. Frustrated, sad and kinda disappointed.  All these feelings are moulded together and gosh, they're stuck in my head.

I complained too much, I know I hadnt been the best, I realise Im not always there.  But it certainly isn't true that i did not contribute AT ALL.  Its not that i completely, and i mean its not like i completely ditch my work for others to do.  I did my part and i offer help for other parts too.  I can't feeling insecure and Im certainly aware of my surrounddings that something is circulating.  My feelings may overrun and i may be thinking too much but I know what i can understand - in the dialects, tones, postures and all.  I know and i feel so "backstabbed".  Everything seems fine but I know its not and at the end of the day, im penalized.  Past experience put me through this already and I never hope for those bullshits to f occur again.  Im sincerely sorry but i can't help feeling this.  I feel that my esteem is slowly decreasing.  Im feeling so unjust, crazy and just helpless. Sucker, sucker.  I need a healing paradise and escape to take me out from the ring.  At least, let me feel like im human and Me again. Well, i did said at least. ;/

I guess people must be thinking Im talking crap here or seeking any attention.  I am not but however, this is an online diary and here, i dote my thoughts and feels for the day.

F.  gosh, i need a hightime goodtime right? Smoke? Haha, i do believe its not highly affective. But, oh wells.

Anyway, i think im feeling too tired. My mind's running wild and I need to rest my mind and gosh, hoping to wake up to another good day.  I pray every night and believe, i will wake up to a better start and that, I will overcome these.

I need the strength Im lacking.  I need the faith. I need me.

Baby spent time with me at home, he kept me company and it feels so great to be re-living the old hobbies.  Talks, kisses and laughter.  I texted bf today and we're dating soon! Lunch date, pizza hut supposed? Can't wait, i have a lot of things to get off my breasts. Hahah. Too much to tell.  Aisyah darling's been kind enough to loan me her notes and I missed her too! I used to spend my monday with her but now, i guess we're both busy with projects and psychology.

Mummy just massaged my legs, thank you mummylove.  Im restless, laying down like a pregnant cow playing the laptop. ;D I think i feel so much better at home and in school with my girls.  I miss playing hockey dearly.  Im hoping i could get contact with the girls and play one last friendly match with them. I miss my ITE dearies too. ALL OF YOU ISD, REALLY!

Ohh gosh, three more weeks and free like fireflies, okay? Hang in there Munirah dear.

We'll pull it through.  Stay focus and study smart.